Equal Life Evolution

The last 3 weeks I was working in a Tree-Nursery and here now I share my experiences and happenings during the last 3 weeks.

The major tasks was for 1 Person to unearth the young trees with a tractor with a vibrator then many peoples behind the tractor was shaking off the earth from the roots by hands which is definitely the hard work of all, then sort the little trees in size and through them away which is either to small or to big or damaged, then some peoples count the “good” trees and then 1 or 2 peoples have to bundle the sorted and counted trees in a 25 or 50 package with a bundle-machine. This part is also a bit stressful because the roots without earth needs to be as fast as possible bundled and stowed away in the shadow otherwise the trees dry out and die away.

I have done all of this tasks but the most people was only on one area. It’s a long time ago where I worked on this level with & as my physical body and so the first week I experienced a lot of stress during some works and after work I was falling in bed immediately. In some cases I experienced also anger and irritation within a stress-situation because I saw that we can make on some stages definitely a change by giving more people to some assignments so that this area become more relieved.

In stress-situations I started also to judge some assignments and become sometimes also jealous about other people with a less exhausting work though I saw from the beginning the job with all its tasks are cool and necessary because all the trees get used to afforest the woods.

So from the first week on some parts of my skin started to itch with little vesicles which I see on one side as a purification of my cells and on the other side as the consequences of my re-action to various situations through anger, irritation and stress. I experienced also other re-action with people while working but haven’t yet identified it because of not so much time during the work to look deeper on it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge a hard physical work with a negative value instead of standing one & equal with all jobs/task and do what is necessary to be done.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in anger & irritation during a stress situation instead of stopping myself/my participation in the mind and breath and do what is to do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire/wish making only the less hard work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in jealousy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to being jealous/angry on people who make the less hard work instead of realizing that all jobs are equal it is just depend on how I have defined the jobs within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to re-act in anger by seeing a not well / equitable organized collaboration.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in stress.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that an emotional reaction of stress comes from the outside/environment instead of realizing that I have it allowed to exist within me.